of gay elves

so one perfect tuesday morning i woke up happy (doesnt happen all that often i tell ya). got dressed. even bothered to put on some perfume and practically skipped to the carpark like a little gay elf in a f*#king enchanted forest. as you might or might not have noticed from the tone this is gonna take a pretty hedious ugly turn.

so i got into my car. got the engine started. unlocked the steering wheel. said hi to the little doggie hanging from the rearview mirror. put the gear into position. and was ready to go when this black BMW rolled over and stopped right in front of me.

"WTF...dont u dare spoil my day u mailto:!@#$%^&^&*(()(*&&^^%%$##@

the guy wound down his window and gestured something to me। i thought why in hell would this guy flap his wrist in front me like that. what on earth is he trying to say. he was pointing underneath my car with his right hand...and waving like crazy with his left. for some reason unknown even to me, i thought he was trying to tell me that there's a little doggie underneath my car and i'm gonna drive right over it ( yeah॥i know i need to enrol in street sign language class).

so i gestured back. a thumbs up. a nod. "got it got it" (i hope it meant that). got down from my car. walked over to the passenger's side of the car. and...hmmph.. needless to say. got the shock of my life..... ok thats an understatement (freaked! screamed like a little gay elf!). but whatever.

to the guy in the BMW: although you're freaky. but thank you so much! for if you had not stopped ur black shiny perfect BMW car in front of mine, i would have driven off (or attempt to drive off) and trash my car REAL bad. (note that the entire left side of the car was supported only by a few flimsy bricks.)

to the person(s) who did this: i hope ur genital(s) get kissed (bitten, munched, gobbled up) by a huge snake (preferably a uber-venomous king cobra), swell to the size of a ripe pomelo, yellowish slash purplish bratwurst if u need to imnagine, rot (with pus and all), dry off, shrivel, and wither away like a dried seasoned flower. beautiful huh :)

and my curse takes effect from the moment u (u guys(bastards)) removed those fucking nuts from my beautiful-but-now-gone rims.

so...if i catch anyone walking like ronald mcDonald these few days. i'll know for sure who the culprit(s) is/are. Unless of course. if it has advanced to the rotting stage. then..umph. the curse cannot, i repeat CANNOT be retracted anymore. thats the rules. sorry to say dude. thats just how the cookie crumbles.